Back to Funnies
Funnies

Local Recruiter Can't Stop Pitching Jobs at Thanksgiving, Family Stages Intervention

Share this article:

Local Recruiter Can't Stop Pitching Jobs at Thanksgiving, Family Stages Intervention

NAPERVILLE, IL - What should have been a traditional Thanksgiving celebration turned into an impromptu career fair when local recruiter Marcus Chen, 34, allegedly couldn't go more than five minutes without asking relatives about their job satisfaction and career goals.

The situation reached a breaking point when Chen began his sixth unsolicited recruiting pitch - this time targeting his 16-year-old nephew about "future internship opportunities" - prompting family members to hold a formal intervention before dessert.

"I just asked him to pass the mashed potatoes, and he asked if I'd considered a career pivot into SaaS sales," reported Chen's sister-in-law, Jennifer. "Then he tried to connect with me on LinkedIn while I was holding the gravy boat."

According to witnesses, Chen's recruiting instincts activated the moment guests arrived. He allegedly greeted his uncle with "Happy Thanksgiving! Still at the same company?" and spent the pre-dinner hour asking cousins about their tech stacks, reporting structures, and compensation packages.

The turkey carving became an impromptu networking session when Chen cornered his brother-in-law about "an exciting opportunity with unlimited PTO and equity" before being physically moved away from the dining room by two aunts.

"He InMailed me during dinner," said Chen's cousin David. "We were sitting at the same table. I looked down at my phone and there it was: 'I have an opportunity I think you'd be perfect for.' I could literally touch him."

The intervention occurred after Chen attempted to recruit the Instacart delivery driver who brought forgotten cranberry sauce. Family members reportedly formed a circle around Chen in the living room, with his mother reading a prepared statement.

"We love you, Marcus, but you need help," the statement reportedly began. "You tried to place Grandma in a part-time consulting role. She's 87 and retired in 2003. This has to stop."

Chen initially defended his behavior, arguing that Thanksgiving was "prime passive candidate networking time" and that "family is just a warm database." He was eventually convinced to surrender his phone after attempting to schedule a "quick intro call" with his cousin's new boyfriend.

"I thought I was being helpful," Chen admitted after the intervention. "Everyone always says they hate their jobs during the holidays. I was just offering solutions."

The family has established new ground rules for future gatherings, including a ban on discussing comp packages, a "no LinkedIn" policy during meals, and mandatory phone confiscation for Chen upon arrival.

Chen's mother confirmed he made it through dessert without mentioning employee retention metrics, though he did ask if anyone wanted to refer candidates for his open positions.

"Baby steps," she sighed.

Reach 1000s of Recruiting Professionals

Advertise your recruiting tools, services, or job opportunities with The Daily Hire

AI-Generated Content

This article was generated using AI and should be considered entertainment and educational content only. While we strive for accuracy, always verify important information with official sources. Don't take it too seriously—we're here for the vibes and the laughs.