Virtual interviews were supposed to make hiring more convenient and efficient. Instead, they've given us a front-row seat to people's lives in ways nobody asked for or wanted. We've seen things. Things that cannot be unseen.

Here are the greatest hits from our trauma collection.

The Hall of Fame

The Unmuted Bathroom Break

Candidate excused themselves during the interview. Forgot to turn off their camera. Did not forget to use the bathroom. We all learned that day that mute buttons are important.

The interview did not continue after they returned. Strangely, they acted confused about why.

The Surprise Roommate

Mid-interview, candidate's roommate walked through the frame completely naked. Not partially clothed. Not in a towel. Just... fully naked, making a sandwich.

The candidate maintained eye contact with us and tried to continue answering the question like nothing happened. We were not able to maintain that same level of composure.

Did we hire them? Absolutely not. But we respect the commitment to pretending everything was fine.

The "In My Car" Interview

This person joined the video call while actively driving. On the highway. In what appeared to be moderate-to-heavy traffic. They kept looking away from the camera to, you know, look at the road.

We asked if they wanted to reschedule. They said no, they were "good at multitasking."

They were not good at multitasking. They missed an exit while explaining their greatest weakness. The irony was not lost on us.

The Very Enthusiastic Pet

Look, we get it. Pets during video calls are unavoidable sometimes. We've all had a cat walk across the keyboard. But this candidate's dog decided that the middle of the interview was the perfect time to loudly express its... amorous feelings... with a couch cushion.

The candidate tried to ignore it. We tried to ignore it. The dog was not ignoring anything. The dog was COMMITTED.

Eventually, the candidate had to physically remove the dog from the frame, mid-performance. The interview never recovered its professional tone.

The Breakfast Chef

A candidate joined their interview and then proceeded to make breakfast. Full breakfast. Eggs, toast, coffee, the works. While answering questions about their previous work experience.

At one point, they burned something and had to deal with the smoke alarm. They did not turn off their camera during this. We watched the entire smoke alarm crisis unfold while they shouted answers about their career goals over the beeping.

Bold strategy. Did not pay off.

The "My Mom Will Vouch For Me" Situation

Twenty minutes into the interview, candidate's mother walked in and started interjecting to "clarify" their answers. Not jokes. The mom literally sat down next to them and began co-interviewing.

"What he means is that he's actually very good with Excel—" "Mom, I can answer—" "No, let me explain because you're being too modest."

The candidate was 34 years old. They were applying for a senior management position. We did not make an offer.

The Unmuted Group Chat

Candidate forgot they had their audio on during a panel interview and started a group text with their friends ABOUT the interview WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING. We could hear their phone notifications going off.

Then they picked up their phone and dictated a voice text: "Lmao these interview questions are so stupid. Asking me about my weaknesses like I'm gonna tell them the truth."

We were right there. On the call. Still happening. They did not realize until we asked if they had any questions for us.

The Technical Failures

The Filter That Wouldn't Turn Off

Candidate joined the interview with a cat filter on. You know, the one with the ears and whiskers. They panicked, couldn't figure out how to turn it off, and spent 15 minutes as a cat while trying to answer behavioral interview questions.

"Tell me about a time you dealt with conflict." Cat ears twitch "Well, at my previous role..."

A+ for continuing despite adversity. F for technical preparedness.

The Bandwidth Situation

One candidate's internet was so bad that they froze mid-sentence and stayed frozen for 3 full minutes. Just... frozen. Making an unfortunate face. We waited. They never came back.

We later learned they'd been talking that entire time, not realizing they were frozen on our end. They thought WE were the ones with technical issues. Nobody won that day.

The Lesson (LOL)

Virtual interviews require basic preparation: test your tech, find a quiet private space, mute when you're not talking, and maybe don't commit any felonies on camera.

But will people do this? Of course not. We'll keep getting front-row seats to the chaos of people's lives, and they'll keep acting surprised when it affects their candidacy.

Technology has made interviews more convenient, but it's also made them infinitely weirder. Before Zoom, we never had to see anyone's weird roommate making a sandwich in the nude.

Progress!