Your hiring manager sends you a job req:

"Need a Senior Software Engineer with 10+ years of experience in Python, Go, Kubernetes, React, and machine learning. Budget: $90K. Need them to start within two weeks. This is urgent."

You know this is impossible. But how do you tell them without:

• Sounding like you're making excuses
• Damaging your credibility
• Burning the relationship

Here's how to manage hiring managers with unrealistic expectations—using data, questions, and trade-offs instead of "that won't work."

Why Hiring Managers Have Unrealistic Expectations

Before you get frustrated, understand why this happens.

Hiring managers often don't know:

• What candidates with X years of experience actually cost
• How long hiring typically takes
• What skills are rare vs. common
• How competitive the market is

Most hiring managers hire 1-3 people per year. You recruit all year. You have market knowledge they don't.

Your job isn't to say "no"—it's to educate and negotiate.

Step 1: Ask Questions (Don't Push Back Immediately)

When you receive an unrealistic req, don't immediately say "this won't work."

Instead, ask clarifying questions that expose the problems:

Question 1: "What's driving the timeline?"

Hiring manager says: "We need someone in two weeks."

You ask: "What's driving the two-week timeline? Is there a project deadline, or is the team currently underwater?"

Why this works: Understanding urgency helps you propose solutions. Maybe they need a contractor now + hire someone permanent later. Maybe they can push the deadline.

Question 2: "Which of these skills are must-haves vs. nice-to-haves?"

Hiring manager says: "They need Python, Go, Kubernetes, React, and ML experience."

You ask: "If I find someone strong in Python, Kubernetes, and ML but lighter on React and Go, would that work? Or are all five required from Day One?"

Why this works: Hiring managers often list every skill they WANT without distinguishing what they NEED. This question forces prioritization.

Question 3: "What's the budget based on?"

Hiring manager says: "Budget is $90K."

You ask: "Is the $90K budget flexible, or is it locked based on internal salary bands? I want to understand what's possible."

Why this works: Sometimes budgets are arbitrary guesses. Sometimes they're locked by finance. You need to know which one before you can negotiate.

Question 4: "What would you trade off?"

You ask: "If we can't find someone with all the skills within the timeline and budget, what would you prioritize—finding someone faster, someone with more experience, or staying within budget?"

Why this works: Forces hiring managers to make trade-offs explicitly. They can't have everything.

Asking questions before pushing back makes hiring managers feel heard, not defensive.

Step 2: Present Market Data (Not Opinions)

After asking questions, present data that shows what's realistic.

Don't say: "That salary is way too low."

Do say: "Based on market data, Senior Software Engineers with 10 years of experience in this area typically earn $140K-$170K. Here's the data I'm seeing." [Share salary benchmarks from Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, or your ATS data]

Don't say: "No one can start in two weeks."

Do say: "Our average time-to-fill for senior engineering roles is 60 days. Even if we find someone immediately, they typically have 2-4 week notice periods at their current jobs. Here's our time-to-fill data from the last year."

Don't say: "Finding someone with all those skills is impossible."

Do say: "I searched LinkedIn and found 12 candidates in our area with Python + Kubernetes + ML. Only 2 of them also have React and Go. Most candidates have 3-4 of these skills, not all 5. Here are the profiles I found."

Data removes subjectivity. You're not saying "I think this is unrealistic"—you're showing "the market says this is unrealistic."

Step 3: Propose Options (Not Just Problems)

Don't just present problems. Present options with trade-offs.

Framework: "We can optimize for X, but we'll have to compromise on Y."

Example: Budget is too low

You say:

"Based on market data, $90K won't attract Senior Engineers with 10+ years of experience. Here are three options:

1. Increase budget to $140K-$160K → We can find experienced senior engineers
2. Target mid-level engineers ($90K-$110K) → Less experience (5-7 years), but they can grow into the role
3. Hire a contractor short-term → Higher hourly rate, but no benefits cost; buys us time to find the right full-time hire

Which direction makes the most sense?"

Giving options empowers the hiring manager to make a decision instead of feeling stuck.

Example: Timeline is too short

You say:

"Two weeks is aggressive for senior hires—they typically have 2-4 week notice periods. Here are options:

1. Hire a contractor immediately → Start within days, bridge until we find a full-time hire
2. Extend timeline to 8-10 weeks → Gives us time to find a strong full-time candidate
3. Prioritize internal promotion or reallocation → Someone from another team steps in temporarily

Which option works best for your needs?"

Example: Skill requirements are too broad

You say:

"It's rare to find someone with all five skills at a senior level. Here are options:

1. Hire for Python + Kubernetes + ML → Must-haves covered, they can learn React/Go on the job
2. Hire two people → One backend-focused (Python, Go, K8s), one full-stack (React, ML)
3. Hire someone strong in 3-4 skills + invest in training → Slightly longer ramp time, but we get a great culture fit

Which approach aligns with your priorities?"

Presenting options makes you a problem-solver, not a blocker.

Step 4: Show Them Real Candidates (Or The Lack Of)

Sometimes hiring managers don't believe you until they see the market themselves.

Tactic: Share candidate profiles

"Here are the three best candidates I found who match your criteria. You'll notice:

• Candidate A has 8 years experience (not 10) and wants $150K
• Candidate B has all the skills but wants full remote (you wanted hybrid)
• Candidate C fits the budget but only has 5 years experience

This gives you a sense of what's available. Should we adjust requirements, or keep searching?"

Showing real (anonymized) candidates makes the market real instead of abstract.

Step 5: Document Everything

After your conversation, send a summary email.

Template:

Hi [Hiring Manager],

Thanks for the discussion about the Senior Engineer role. Here's what we aligned on:

Must-have skills: Python, Kubernetes, ML Nice-to-have skills: Go, React (they can learn on the job) Budget: $140K-$160K (adjusted from $90K based on market data) Timeline: 8-10 weeks to hire full-time; we'll explore contractors for short-term coverage

I'll start sourcing candidates based on these parameters and keep you updated weekly.

Let me know if anything needs adjustment.

[Your Name]

Why documentation matters:

1. Prevents revisiting the same conversation ("I thought we agreed on $90K!")
2. Creates accountability (hiring manager can't claim you never told them)
3. Protects you if the hire doesn't go well

Written alignment prevents 80% of recruiter-hiring manager conflicts.

What To Do When They Still Won't Budge

Sometimes hiring managers insist on unrealistic requirements even after you present data and options.

Option 1: Escalate (with data)

"I want to make sure we're set up for success. Based on market data and our sourcing efforts, this role as currently defined will be very difficult to fill. Can we schedule a brief call with [HR Director/VP] to align on priorities?"

Escalation with data isn't tattling—it's ensuring leadership understands constraints.

Option 2: Start sourcing and let reality speak

Sometimes hiring managers need to see the market firsthand.

"Got it—I'll start sourcing based on these requirements and share candidates as I find them. I'll also keep you updated on response rates and feedback so we can adjust if needed."

After 2-3 weeks of no suitable candidates, hiring managers often adjust expectations on their own.

Option 3: Negotiate a pilot/test

"How about we try searching for two weeks with the current requirements? If we're not seeing the right candidates, we can regroup and adjust. Sound good?"

Framing as an experiment removes ego from the equation.

Common Unrealistic Expectations And How To Handle Them

"We need someone who's a culture fit"

Problem: "Culture fit" is subjective and often code for "someone like us" (which creates bias).

How to handle:

"Can you help me understand what 'culture fit' means specifically? Are you looking for someone who:

• Communicates directly vs. diplomatically?
• Prefers independent work vs. collaboration?
• Is comfortable with ambiguity vs. structured processes?

The more specific we are, the better I can assess fit."

Converting "culture fit" into specific behavioral traits reduces bias and makes evaluation objective.

"We need a unicorn"

Problem: Hiring manager wants someone who can do three different jobs.

How to handle:

"It sounds like you need a full-stack engineer, a designer, AND a product manager. That's three roles. Would it make sense to hire two people—one engineer and one product-focused designer—instead of searching for one person who does everything?"

Naming the "three jobs in one" problem often prompts hiring managers to reconsider.

"Just find me someone like [our best employee]"

Problem: That person is an outlier, and finding clones is impossible.

How to handle:

"[Best Employee] is amazing—I agree. What specifically about them do you want to replicate? Their technical skills? Their communication style? Their willingness to work weekends?

Let's prioritize the top 3 traits so I'm not searching for an exact clone."

Deconstructing "find someone like X" into specific traits makes sourcing feasible.

The Bottom Line

Managing hiring managers with unrealistic expectations requires:

1. Ask questions first (understand their constraints and priorities)
2. Present data, not opinions (market salary data, time-to-fill benchmarks, candidate availability)
3. Offer options with trade-offs ("We can optimize for X, but we'll compromise on Y")
4. Show them the market (share real candidate profiles or lack thereof)
5. Document everything (written alignment prevents future conflicts)

Your goal isn't to say "no"—it's to educate and negotiate.

Hiring managers who understand market reality become better partners. Those who don't... well, you have data and documentation to protect yourself when the role sits unfilled for six months.

You're not making excuses. You're managing expectations with facts.