When Counter-Offers Are Insultingly Low: How to Coach Candidates Through It

Nothing tests your professionalism quite like a candidate saying "my current employer countered at $95K" when your offer is $120K and their current salary is $85K. The math doesn't math, but here they are, genuinely torn about which offer to accept.

This is where you earn your fee. Here's how to coach candidates through lowball counter-offers without screaming.

Understand the Emotional Logic

Candidates aren't evaluating counter-offers rationally - they're processing fear, guilt, and flattery. Their employer just told them they're "valued" and "critical to the team," which feels good even when the accompanying salary bump is insulting.

Your job isn't to argue. It's to ask questions that help candidates think clearly.

The Counter-Offer Coaching Framework

Question 1: "What changed between yesterday when you were ready to resign and today when they countered?"

Nothing changed except their employer suddenly cares. Point this out gently. "If they valued you this much, why did it take you getting another offer for them to show it?"

Question 2: "If you accept their counter, what happens in six months when you're unhappy again about the same issues that made you start looking?"

Counter-offers don't fix underlying problems. They're retention band-aids. If the candidate was leaving because of bad management, limited growth, or toxic culture, an extra $10K doesn't solve that.

Question 3: "Let's look at the actual numbers. What are you gaining by staying versus moving forward?"

Make them do the math. Compare total compensation, growth potential, and career trajectory. Often candidates are focused on the emotional validation of the counter-offer and haven't actually calculated what they're leaving on the table.

Handle the Guilt Trip

Candidates feel guilty about leaving, especially when managers pull the "we need you" card. Counter this with reality.

"I understand you feel loyal to your team. But remember: you're replaceable to them as a business decision. They'll fill your role if you leave. The question is whether you're making the best decision for your career, not whether they'll survive without you. They will."

This sounds harsh, but it's true. Companies don't collapse when people resign. Candidates need permission to prioritize themselves.

The Specific Lowball Counter

When the counter-offer is objectively worse than your offer, make it explicit:

"They countered at $95K. Our offer is $120K plus equity and better benefits. That's a $25K+ difference. I want to make sure you're seeing this clearly: they're asking you to stay for significantly less money than you could make elsewhere. That's not them valuing you - that's them hoping you won't do the math."

Be direct. Candidates in emotional decision-making mode need facts presented clearly.

What Not to Say

Don't trash their current employer. "Your boss is terrible" makes you look unprofessional and puts candidates in defensive mode.

Don't give ultimatums. "If you don't accept by EOD, we're rescinding the offer" works occasionally but usually just pisses people off.

Don't take it personally. Candidates accepting counter-offers isn't about you. It's about their risk tolerance and emotional comfort with change.

The Final Play

After you've asked questions and presented facts, give them space.

"I want you to make the decision that's right for you. Take 24 hours, think it through, talk to people you trust. But I need an answer by [specific time] tomorrow so we can move forward either way."

Set a deadline. Don't let this drag for a week while they waffle.

The Honest Truth

About 50% of candidates who accept counter-offers are back on the job market within 12 months because the underlying issues didn't change. You can share this statistic, but ultimately, candidates have to make their own mistakes.

Your job is to present information clearly, ask good questions, and let them decide. Sometimes they'll choose poorly. Sometimes they'll surprise you.

Either way, you did your job. Move on to candidates who actually want the opportunity.