Your family gathering is full of employed professionals with networks. You're a recruiter. The temptation to turn Thanksgiving into a networking event is real. Don't do it. Or at least, do it subtly.

Read the Room (Literally)

If Uncle Steve just got laid off, do not pitch him on contract roles over mashed potatoes. If your cousin just started a new job three weeks ago, she's not referring candidates to you. Timing matters.

The right approach: mention what you do if asked, then move on. "I help companies find engineers" is sufficient. Nobody wants the full elevator pitch between turkey and pie.

The Soft Touch Works Better

Instead of "Do you know any software engineers looking for jobs?" try "If you ever come across someone exploring new opportunities, I'd love to connect." Plant seeds, don't harvest crops.

Better yet, be useful first. "I saw your company's hiring. If you need recruiting help or want to chat about hiring strategy, let me know." Offering value beats asking for favors.

Timing Is Everything

Before dinner: no. During dinner: absolutely not. Right after dinner when everyone's food-coma'd on the couch: maybe, but gently. The next day via text: much better.

"Hey, great seeing you yesterday. I forgot to mention - if you ever need recruiting support or know someone job hunting, I'm happy to help" hits different than cornering someone at the dinner table.

What Actually Works

Be genuinely interested in what people do. Ask about their work because you care, not because you're mining for leads. People remember who listened versus who interrogated.

Connect people who can help each other. Your cousin needs marketing help? Intro her to your contact. You're building relationship capital that pays off later, not extracting immediate value.

The Cardinal Sins (Don't Do These)

Don't hand out business cards at family dinner. Just don't. Keep them in your car and your dignity intact.

Don't ask people to intro you to their boss/coworkers unless they explicitly offer. Putting family in awkward professional positions destroys both relationships.

Don't treat every conversation as a transaction. Sometimes people are just people, not potential clients or candidate sources.

The Follow-Up That Doesn't Suck

Wait until Friday or the weekend. Send a genuine "great seeing you" text. If they expressed interest in your work, THEN mention staying in touch professionally.

"Loved catching up! If you're ever open to it, I'd enjoy hearing more about your team's growth plans" is polite and low-pressure.

Real Talk

Your reputation with family outlasts any placement fee. Being pushy at Thanksgiving makes you the person people avoid next year. Being helpful and respectful makes you the person they think of when opportunities arise.

Network like a human building relationships, not a recruiter extracting value. The difference is everything.

Happy Thanksgiving. May your turkey be moist and your networking be subtle.